


PUSHOVER

by juuzyoo (orphan_account)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Angst, F/M, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M, One-Sided Attraction, sorry iwaizumi, vent fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-21
Updated: 2017-01-21
Packaged: 2018-09-18 21:19:24
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,446
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9403211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/juuzyoo
Summary: oikawa made iwaizumi feel a certain way, but he never knew how to describe it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> tgis is one big vent fic 4 me lollolololol
> 
> also i dnt. Capitalize things srry

"iwa-chan~." he used his high pitched voice, the one he uses for animals or the girls who like him. it was never genuine and whenever he used it you know he was annoyed, or angry, or every emotion you feared wasn't going to be directed at you.  
"hmm?" you looked up from your work, pretending you hadn't over analyzed his words again.  
"im bored, we should fight someone on twitter again." he looks at you with those eyes, the ones that read every single thing you think, the eyes that kept you awake at night, making you anxious over if he knew how you were, how you felt. you swallow hard.  
"i don't think so shittykawa, we fought someone last week." you hated the twitter fights. sure, you knew how to insult and when combined with his talent of knowing exactly what hurt them and what didn't made you both an unstoppable force. you hated twitter anyways, you only had it because you have no other social media and oikawa needs to have his best friend in close contact. the only people you followed or followed you were from him, mutuals or girls looking for his personal and private twitter. there was only one or two people oikawa hadn't talked to, or bothered to.   
oikawa huffed and turned to look at his laptop screen again, his earbuds lay forgotten next to it, the sound of kpop could be faintly heard if you strained your ears.   
oikawa was your best friend, despite his big, contrasting personality, you trusted him with your life. he knew most things about you that you wouldn't tell anyone, but sometimes you think that was a mistake to tell him everything. because any wrong move on your part could ruin your entire life. you knew how he was. if you crossed him, doubted him, did anything to him he'd drop you or fight you. he'd let every single piece of information he had on you let out, and thus destroied everything you had and he didn't blink an eye. you were terrified of him, but you loved him and he loved you. though, not in the same way. oikawa was obnoxiously straight and you were gay. it was one of the things oikawa hadn't known, or you hope he hadn't known. the last thing you needed was for him to know and completely wreck the peace you have.   
he made you feel like something, a word you could never think of, but it was constantly there.  
both of you barely fought with each other, you showered him in compliments and he'd do the same. you'd swear to protect him from anything and everything, and that anyone who'd cross him had something coming. you had met oikawa through an old friend, kuroo. you never hit it off at first, it wasn't until kuroo found out about your mental health when he laughed and dropped you, he and oikawa were the same. kuroo had those eyes the catlike eyes that sent you into a cold sweat thinking about it. kuroo had dropped oikawa too, once oikawa called out bokuto for his absurd behavior. once he got dropped he reached out to you, looking for someone who knew his pain.   
you became best friends as fast as you could blink. he clung to you with everything he had and you did the same. you both loved and cared for each other unconditionally and nothing would change that.   
there were people that came into your life that stuck, friends that you loved, but never as much as oikawa. it wasn't the same. hanamaki and mattsun were stellar people and friends. they both hit it off with you, not with oikawa. they never talked with oikawa and oikawa never talked to them, or about them. not until hanamaki made the joke that oikawa was taking you away from him, and it pissed oikawa off to no ends. but, he held his tongue about the situation, and personally that was scarier than him saying something about it.  
you would always admit how stunning oikawa was. silky brown hair with eyes that matched his color, but his eyes were the most unique part of him. oikawa was an amazing observer. he could tell most things by looking at you, and it scared everyone. oikawa stood taller than you (just by a couple of inches though) and he had far better people skills than you. oikawa was a stunning human being with so many great qualities.   
it wasn't until oikawa got a girlfriend, and new friends when it changed. you had always poked fun at how you were his only true friend, and you still did, just with those new friends added in.   
you didn't know much about them, you knew they came from his twitter account that was his guilty pleasure. he hadn't wanted you to follow it for unspoken reasons, you never pushed it. he was allowed to live as his own person anyways.   
during the time of him being open about being friends with them, your mom was in a stressful situation money wise and had to sell her house, and ring that your father gave her before he left. you were stressed with work trying to support her as much as you could. it was horrendous for your depression and you posted about how you were upset/sad on your twitter frequently as a way to keep it out of your system. oikawa had gotten distant with you ever since it happened. you told him the situation, and hoped that he'd understand.  
you had paranoia and anxiety issues, you've always had them. after years of being forgotten about and bullied when you were young you developed intense paranoia and a fear of abandonment. because of this, you were terrified of oikawa dropping you, and since he was distant you decided the only thing you could do was fake a new account, to request a follow on his secret one to see what was happening that you couldn't see. it sent you into a panic attack like no other. the after effects stayed with you for hours after it happened. you felt so betrayed and scared about how he really felt. he posted about how you pissed him off, how he needed space and you needed to leave him the fuck alone. you never realized that you made him feel this way.  
you confided in mattsun, who told you your feelings were valid and oikawa was a fucker who you shouldn't be friends with. mattsun made you so happy, you had developed feelings for him like no other. he was a genuine guy who never made you feel scared or lost or doubted. you took his word and confronted oikawa.  
oikawa spit in your face. he stomped over everything. he made you feel like shit and he wouldn't even own up to the fact that he was the one who caused all of this. oikawa made it seem like it was your fault for everything. he hadn't done a thing but suffer under your constant teasing and abuse. many panic attacks later, you finally apologized for things you felt deep down you shouldn't have been held accountable for.   
oikawa broke down and said he never hated you, that he wad never angry. you felt like he was a walking contradiction. you told him you needed a break, he spit in your face over that idea. he posted everything about you on his twitter, including how you were gay and how he had always known.  
he destroyed everything. he ruined your whole life and you had nothing but mattsun, who supported you through it all. he stuck with you. he told you how fucked up oikawa was and how you didn't deserve it. that night, you confessed to him and you had your first boyfriend and you were genuinely happy.  
hanamaki also supported you, after you told him what happened he explained how he went through something similar and that you should never go back, ever. oikawa was a piece of shit and the way he treated you was disrespectful and you should forget about it. you told him he was right.  
but when you moved twitters, you got a follow request from none other than oikawa, and you accepted. once you accepted it you both went back to what you had. but as you sat there looking at him laying on his bed, staring at that screen you realized that after everything that he had done, the feeling stayed the same, that word slammed into your chest and knocked the wind out of you. you were....  
  
...a pushover.

**Author's Note:**

> the characters r ooc but idc


End file.
